SlutWalk Seattle is Sept 9th!
We still need donations. If you’re able, please donate at http://slutwalkseattle.com/donate
The Seattle Clinic Defense is having an organizing meeting tomorrow:
They’ll be discussing plans for the new year. Ideas include:
I’m excited about a Roe vs Wade Anniversary walk. If you have been thinking about getting involved. Now is a great time!
This Saturday - 1pm - Bauhaus Books and Coffee, 301 E. Pine, Seattle
SlutWalk’s Facebook post regarding An Open Letter from Black Women to SlutWalk Organizers
"There is significant discussion - and anger and sadness - that is happening lately around an incident of a white woman who participated in SlutWalk NYC who carried a sign that read "Women are the [racial ‘N’ word] of the world." This was not okay and we are not okay with this. This was/is racism and we do not support any white people using this racial slur or any others no matter what point they’re hoping to make. Many black women have denounced any use of this word and we support them in this. Some have defended that this quote is from Yoko Ono and a John Lennon song from the late 1960s. It was challenged then for racism and it is still racist.
This incident plays into larger conversations that are currently underway. We received an Open Letter from Black Women outlining genuine support and some significant concerns recently and we are underway in a greater thoughtful response to this letter after sending an initial response acknowledging its importance and validity. We want SlutWalk to be a safer space for all women and people and we acknowledge that is not what is happening, with the above incident and with other issues, and we need to be accountable to this. We will continue to strive to make this a safer space for all women and all people. We will bring more updates as they come.”
View FB post at: http://www.facebook.com/SlutWalk/posts/180025648745110
Trigger warning for partner consent issues, rape
At first, I didn’t know what she meant. She spoke so softly I had to lean across the table to hear her. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings,” she said, “but sometimes I really don’t want to have sex. Sometimes I do, but not as often as you want it. And sometimes I want to tell you ‘no,’ but I can’t bring myself to do it. So I try and send you signals, hoping you can just tell how I’m feeling. But that doesn’t work, so it’s… it’s just easier to say ‘yes’ or just say nothing at all.”
My face flushed. I felt nauseated. I thought instantly of the previous night, where we’d grabbed what I thought was a hot half-hour when my roommates were both gone. Katie had seemed so passionate when we’d been making out, but then gotten very quiet once all our clothes were off. I’d told myself she wanted to have one ear cocked for the sound of a key in the door. I hadn’t considered—or hadn’t wanted to consider—the more obvious possibility: she was trying to tell me that she didn’t want to have sex.
I looked out the window. I couldn’t meet Katie’s eyes. My gaze fixed in the distance, my voice trembling, I asked what seemed the only possible question: “Are you trying to tell me I raped you?”
I was in my first women’s studies course, and just the previous week we’d been reading about sexual violence and the law. In class, where I was one of only three men, I’d felt rage thinking about all of those cruel assholes who didn’t understand that “no means no.” But now a dark and unseen possibility was opening up: not every “no” could be spoken. Maybe, I realized, sometimes even a quiet “OK” could be a “no” in disguise.
Katie started to cry. “Oh God, Hugo. No. Not rape. It’s just… I wish you could tell the difference between when I really want you and when I’d just rather be held.” She began to cry harder. “Fuck. It’s all my fault,” she wept. “I can’t expect you to be a mindreader. I’m so sorry.”
So much of the activism against sexual violence posits rapists as a subspecies of human, deliberately malicious, a separate breed that - if eradicated - will solve all our problems. Yet how often do we look into ourselves to see if we are part of the problem?
Perhaps when we consider the idea that we could be abusers too - want it or not - we can start coming up with more solutions that don’t assume Good/Bad splits, that don’t force assumptions of “They can’t have done that, they’re a GOOD PERSON!”, that doesn’t also end up finding fault with the victim because they weren’t perfectly innocent.